Okay I guess it's time to let the cat out of the bag. I'm pregnant! Braxton started asking for a baby back in November and come the end of September his wish will have been fulfilled. When we first told him a few weeks back he had a sudden change of heart. He told us he wanted to be the "only baby". But if you look at the picture above he's trying NOT to smile. He's coming around and occasionally he'll ask "when's September?"
I'm 15 weeks today and MUCH bigger at this point in this pregnancy than I was with Braxton. I was very sick this time for about six weeks and am so glad that all of that is behind me. We went back to the doctor yesterday and everything sounded great.
Wanted you all to know. I'll keep you posted!
It's not a secret that for years, many years actually, I was angry and hurt that my mom "left" me. I couldn't understand why she wouldn't take care of herself better and how she could just give up. I always heard that you can't begin to imagine a mother's love until you become a mother yourself. I now know how true those words are. I've been thinking about all of this lately because of the new baby on the way. One thought leads to another and like many things my mind always goes back to my mom. I'm reminded that the path was chosen for her and she didn't chose the path. I want to cry when I think about how angry I've been at her. When I think of Braxton and my love for him I feel confident that the love I have for him can be compared to the same love she had for me. Greater than life. Bigger than death. It's taken over 13 years but I think I'm finally at peace. I would never choose to leave my children. I don't think she would have ever willingly left us. I know the choice wasn't hers and if it were she'd be here with us today.
